What is the difference between being in love and love?



Being in love is a coerced gift that nature forces upon us, whereas love is a voluntary gift that stems from mutual relation and compassion.

As every other forced gift, being in love demands repayment, and consequently a person who is in love always suffers lack of a return gift; love, on the other hand, does not demand any repayment. True love consequently never passes.

When a man and a woman fall in love, they do not live the same reality but are detached because what each loves in the other is only himself/herself. Until both of them with their present worship only their reality in one another, they automatically match as they happen to like each other. But then both of their realities crawl together, to be united as one – all individual presents in this universe strive for unity. At that point they both face the same problem, the problem of their own reality which is gone. The present thus becomes a dead river bed of two people if they are not ready to truly give themselves to one another.

Man’s virtual I is like a point that can move freely. Yet every time that a man takes this liberty, he is caught in a chosen relationship. The third angle in which they can move therefore exists – either the reason or faith. Being in love is the lack of the third angle since it is about a forced gift and a forced repayment.

Almost everything that we do falls under the category of forced gift. We are forced to go to school or to work. The relationship between a man and a woman is forced as long as nature has anything to say about it, just as parents are forced into an offering once the child is born. Yet if we want to grow into our given reality, we have to understand that. Forced relationships torture us as long as we cling on to our personal freedom but once we let go and accept the given, the feeling of entrapment goes away.

The only thing that life demands from man is giving. If a man and a woman are attracted, what is their debt? They have to be honest and admit their attraction so that they can give themselves to each other. Only by giving will they unbind from their helplessness in life and after him accept the power to join in the reality of one view.

The biggest love means sharing your helplessness; only thus can true power arise. It is most definitely easier to rest in helplessness than to exhaust yourself in seeming power. Partners should be like a band aid or a balm for the soul to each other, instead of being like poison.

Man in his helplessness hides within an infinite number of forms of the purest beauty. Let’s admit the basic human helplessness at least to the one we love. God does not demand anything else from us. From Jesus Christ he demanded only that he admit before the whole world, all the generations and for ever and ever the human helplessness in the river of Lord’s time.

Each of us is ashamed of his helplessness and we consequently lock ourselves in our homes. Those who admit their own fear also understand the fear of others. Be a friend to the fellow man in his need, for the only beauty of this world is becoming the eternal light of friendship of the helpless.

Why are children so sweet and beautiful? All their beauty lies in their helplessness. They attract us with it and awake compassion. No woman can put on enough make-up to look sweater than a dirty child playing in the sand. At the same time, however, we can imagine how beautiful a grown-up woman is if she admits her helplessness – she then does not shine only with the beauty of a woman, but with the warmth of a Human.

Everything is alright is we accept it. We write a story with every fellow man. A loyal father will never see his daughter as ‘his child’ but as a fellow man. He will thus never have his daughter, yet will therefore have her the most. If we respect the man in a child since he is a baby, we are doing everything that can be possibly done.

Once a child says goodbye to his childhood, he says goodbye also to his mother and father as he no longer needs such a relationship. It the parents do not see the child in him anymore as well, he can remain their friend.

People are compassionate when we know how to accept goodbye. Goodbyes calm the soul. Peace is the freedom of spirit.

Only once you forget about yourself can you be a true friend. Those who are not capable of that constantly look for somebody or something according to their own criteria – looking for a victim, not a friend…

Each man takes his own path toward peace. Each is unrepeatable and worth respect. There are no better or worse paths, only one’s own. Peace in the house can only be preserved by accepting the peace of all the paths leading to it – no matter if they are fair or unjust.

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